


Chrollo's Big Nasty Feet

by Calicornia



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:27:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25918807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calicornia/pseuds/Calicornia
Summary: "Damn boss!" Said Shalnark, "You walk with those feet?"The above line is never said in the fic.
Relationships: Hisoka/Kuroro Lucifer | Chrollo Lucifer
Comments: 15
Kudos: 17





	Chrollo's Big Nasty Feet

The sun beat down on the Phantom Troupe's Yorknew hideout. It was an unusually hot day, Shalnark insisted on walking around but ass naked. Feitan was passed out because of his refusal to wear anything but black. Phinks was constipated and screaming while attempting to shit (Not even on a toilet, just on the spot in his pants like a dirty animal). Pakunoda was cleaning her femdom apparatus and discussing it with Machi. Shizuku, Nobunaga and Franklin were watching Judge Judy. Nobody likes the other guys so who cares what they're doing.

Chrollo, however, was having a fine day of doing what he normally does. Reading 'Different Ways to be a Divorce Lawyer' by The Divorce Hunter. As he studied the methods, one in particular caught his eye:

"The funky monkey divorce lawyer?" Chrollo scratched his beard. Not the one on his face, because he doesn't have one. His stoic face couldn't help but smirk as he read the following paragraph:

"To be a funky monkey divorce lawyer, you will need at least four years of experience as an unwashed ass divorce lawyer."

Chrollo flipped the pages to the 'U' section, as the book is alphabetical.

"To be an unwashed ass divorce lawyer, you need at least zero years of experience as a chastity belt divorce lawyer."

He flipped to the 'C' section, and a newborn book fell out. Nevertheless, he continued to read.

"To be a chastity belt divorce lawyer, you need at least nine years of experience as a Lois Griffin impersonator divorce lawyer."

He flipped to the 'L' section.

"To be a Lois Griffin Impersonator divorce lawyer, you need at least six years of experience as a femdom divorce lawyer."

Chrollo was becoming aggravated, he flipped and flipped through the assortment of fun ways to be a divorce lawyer. He felt like he had just walked into a candy store, but all of the candy was held behind bullet proof glass and surveillance cameras were watching his every move.

He was about to slam the book shut and order the troupe to synchronize dance for his enjoyment, when he saw it. His one way ticket to a degree in divorce:

"To be a big foot divorce lawyer, you need to have big feet and know how to use nen."

Chrollo smirked, his one way ticket to meeting horny milfs, and possibly dilfs was right in his palm. He kicked off both of his shoes. And opened his mouth.

"Come here my little bitches, I need you to judge my feet." Chrollo commanded his harem.

Everyone besides Feitan, as he is currently passed out, surrounded the leader.

"Wow boss!" Shalnark exclaimed sarcastically, "You entering a ballet competition with those tiny princess feet?"

"I could probably use one of them as fuel for my car!" Phinks laughed and pointed.

"Those are feet?" Shizuku asked without a hint of malice in her voice. "They're so small that I think I'd need real glasses to see them."

As his harem laughed, Chrollo felt a twang of misery. His poor little feet, loved by nobody. It really was true, he'd have to be a boring divorce lawyer who signs papers rather than one who does anything cool like sing a little tune as he separates a marriage.

"I can fix that."

The sound of clown shoes honking echoed off of the hideouts walls. A fat assed, pink haired, stinky little man had 9 eyes on him. Everyone had a least one eye closed.

"Did someone call for some big feet?" Hisoka slapped his foot down on the table, revealing his 90 inch (synonym for foot).

"Wow!" Shalnark chuckled, "That sure is something!"

"Wait." Chrollo took the helm, "Are you telling me that you can make my feet look like that?"

Hisoka smirked.

"Honey, I can make them as big as you want me to make them. For a price."

"And that would be?"

"Let me suck on those scrumptious piggies." Hisoka slurped, "Mama needs some pork in her diet."

"Actually you don't." Machi rolled her eyes. "You can have a perfectly healthy vegetarian or vegan diet if you eat enough protein."

"But I still want his feet. And bad."

Chrollo presented his fun sized feet to Hisoka.

"Have at it."

The nasty clown spun around, entrancing everyone in a trance, per se. And then he licked Chrollo's feet, per se.

Nothing felt out of the ordinary, until it didn't.

The boss's feet had suddenly grown three sizes, no, more than that. Each foot was now 2 foot in diameter, no, that's a paradox. It was as if his feet were the size of a really short adult man.

Chrollo shed a tear, he could now start his journey of being a big feet divorce lawyer. Hisoka's mouth was already sucking his pinky toe, the only toe in France. The only one that would fit in his mouth too.

"This sucks!" Phinks scoffed, "Not even that could make me shit my pants! C'mon Feitan, lets go speedrun Nintendogs."

But Feitan wasn't there. Fear began to fill Phinks's mind. Was it the chain user? No, Bilbo Baggins?

"Hey! Guys!" Phinks shouted, "Feitan's been gothnapped! That's what I call kidnapping goths!"

Everyone began to search the hideout for any signs of Feitan, using En and their words to look for him. Except Chrollo, who was in euphoria from the toe sucking. Little did the rest of the troupe know, that they would soon go missing just as their little hobbit friend did. One by one.

Hisoka couldn't help but smile as the thought went through his mind.

"He's Feet-tan now."


End file.
